All About Jays Super Secret Moves

I was sent to bed last night with the instruction to "Dream about Jays super secret moves." Now, if I could dial up dreams this one would be high on my list along with the one where I am a US Supreme Court Justice and the one where I can fly. Oh, and one where Im a rock star.

But, alas, I can not dial up dreams. I don't even know what I dreamed about. I'm not even sure that I slept. I woke up early this morning wondering what the hell Jays super secret moves were. When would I see them? Are they anything like my super secret moves? Would they still be super secret once we'd told?

So then I spent some time thinking about how I'd like these moves to turn out. Which is just punishment. Punishment for getting distracted by flirting with this guy that used the word Hyperbolic. If I have a weakness its these yummy words. What's the first one that I can chalk up to Jay? facetious . Yum.

But it is punishment none the less. If I strain my teeny little brain I may be able to think back (way back) to the last time I had sex. It was in the year ought three. thinking to the last time I had sex with someone that was not scooter? wow. The strain of that is enormous. smell that train transformer smell -- my synapses are frying. I was... counting on my fingers... shaking my head sadly... 22 years old. and drunk. Very drunk.

Well, this is fun. While were at it lets just try to think back to the last I had sex that resulted in anything but a slight feeling of disgust? Ummmm. Impossible.

So, laying in my bed and having a good think about Jays super secret moves (Which if I had to guess will involve pouring beer on himself) is just punishment.

Metro-sexual guy and I were talking about my current condition. He says "Girl, you are going to have to dust off the kootchie." Ha ha ha ha. Mad laughter. So little attention there that I'll have to get some Endust and clean up? Sure know how to make a girl feel... pretty.

So now, in my own mind, I am dusty kootchie girl. and it sucks goat.

This thing with Jay is fun, but it doesn't really represent reality. How can it? I asked him to be my boyfriend, said "I need someone to call baby." I know the thought that went through his mind "What does she want from me? What does that mean? What will I be expected to do? NO!" But that is just a recognition that this interaction does represent a kind of intimacy. That is why its attractive. and it is on a level that I can have some respect for right now.

We're talking about smells. How he smells. But isn't that just one of those superficial things? One of the things that distracts your rational brain? a thing like knees... or the right pair of jeans... or a sparkling belly ring. Things that scream attend to me and ignore the substance. Ignore the substantive, gloss it all with superficiality.

So for now I guess I'll just be distracted by this thought "What the heck are Jays super secret moves? Gimme."

Gimme gimme gimme.

Please.