Fun with Hyperbole

I've been watching a series of lectures on the web. Important cerebral professor guy stuff. Part of it includes little workshops where exam questions are offered, you do them, then you turn on the prof in the Real Player window to tell you what your should of come up with.

So I am cruising along... not doing too bad for my first exam on this material... When prof guy gives me a question with the word HYPERBOLE in it. First, let me say that I love hyperbole. I love the word, I love the device. I use it all the time. For instance, if I like you I suggest that I am going to get your name tattooed on my ass. My ass is not that big kids! I don't have room for everyone I'll ever like. (Jackass FREAKED OUT when I said this to him. Does he really think I am going to get ink done on my ass in his honor? What is about me that makes men feel so... Special?)

Second example, I am always threatening to throw myself off the roof. In complete isolation from knowing the rest of me, I guess this can be a little disconcerting. After all, there are people who DO throw themselves off of roofs, over silly things. I don't do... I just SAY. That's the fun of HYPERBOLE! Why, I could engage in the endless pursuit of hyperbole for 23 hours a day for THE REST OF MY LIFE!!! (If you get that, if that makes you laugh... Well then I have to marry you)

But Prof in the Box, he's never seen the word before. And to this I have only one thing to say: Don't mess with things you don't understand! He pronounces the word, TWICE, like this: Hyper-Bowl. HYPER-BOWL. Dude. This is a crime against English. A crime I say. What would possess a person, who is claiming to educate me, to so mangle a word? Could he define it? Does he even know what language he is speaking?? Ak! I am so distressed by this that I must THROW MYSELF OFF THE ROOF. Right after I get his name lasered off my ass.