The Short Bus

I received a comment which wonders... Does Penny have some amazing grasp of herself and reality and a comfortable I-Am-What-I-Am-Ness or does Penny belong on the short bus. The special bus. The bus with padding.

Well you'll just have to decide for yourselves. I have had an IQ test. I was not disappointed with the results. I did wonder, for just a moment, if taking it more seriously would have made a difference.

I spent today comfortably seated in the passenger seat of Metro-Sexual Guys new BMW. (Travel back in Penny blog history if you want to know about MSG) We drove around and looked at investment property. His broker (a rather huge line backer like man) was crammed into the back seat in order to make me comfortable. Had the major flirt on for me. It was cute. I asked how old he was. He answered "How old do you want me to be?"

OH HOLY HELL!

Is this what single life has in store for me? J, oh my sweet and lovely J, run away with me...

But here is the transformation-girl response to line backer man. Wait. First, lets just imagine what it would of been if this line had been played on the old me.

any guy: "How old do you want me to be?"
Old Penny: "Fuck off."

OR

any guy: "How old do you want me to be?"
Old Penny: "How old will you be when you're dead? That old plus 2."

OR

any guy: "How old do you want me to be?"
Old Penny: "Forget it, I've figured it out for myself."
any guy: "Really?"
Old Penny: "You're 12, its obvious. Does your mom know you're out this late?"

I could go on and on. I could. But lets skip ahead to the kinder, gentler Penny.

any guy: "How old do you want me to be?"
New Penny: "The age that you are is fine, I'm sure." (gasp, struggle, fight urge to say caustic, sarcastic, horrible thing) Smile pleasantly.

"Now, Penny," you'll ask "what was so hard about that? Did it hurt you? Are you injured?" Perhaps, in some subtle as of yet undetectable way I am injured. We won't know until we get the test results. But I know that I feel a little tired at the prospect of smiling at crap like that.

And a little more tired at the idea of being alone until I am the age at which I die. Plus 2.