Jackass Update

For those of you who are new to the many lands of Penny's angst, you can catch up on Jackass by reading 98% of everything ever written for this blog. Go ahead, the rest of us will wait....

Humming.

Thumb twiddling...

A little surreptitious look around "Anybody peeking?" Some stealth nose picking.

Back? Good... now I can go on.

WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING!?!

I am not like this with any other person on the planet, this strange non-spoken what in the world does all this mean CODE communication. What the hell is that all about?

Tonight was a train wreck. I miss this man in a visceral way. I have called it like my need for oxygen, the way I need to get squished and just set right by him. Would I choose it? Nope.

You come along with the dessert cart of mate choices: "Would you care for a man tonight? A partner? A corresponding Ying for your Yang?" Penny pauses... Hmmmm? Perhaps I am still far too full of this from my long dark tea time with Scooter. BUT NO! I think I'll just look, see if something catches my eye.

Top of the cart: all single, look tasty! Some men my own age, yum. A few older guys, a couple younger guys, some that are clearly not my idea of dessert. Some I can't afford... but wait. There's the one I want. That one that girl over there has! AK.........

You say "I'm sorry miss but we've given that one to her. She owns it. It's already covered in teeth marks, been dropped on the floor, paid for." I reply, calmly but with an air of dangerousness "PERFECTION. I must have it. No expense is too great, get it for me now or I shall explode and take out your whole damn establishment with me. And that pet shop full of puppies next door. And the old folks home, and the day care, and that place where nuns read to the blind. GIVE ME WHAT I WANT NOW!"

Clearly if I had been given a choice I'd have selected from the cart, kids. But I did not get the choice, I got him. And he is the best thing and the worst thing that has ever happened to me. And he keeps on happening to me every day.

To be perfectly honest with you, which is important cause you're all complete strangers who do not know me or give a hot damn for me (except J who is mad for me, just ask him), I want him to happen to me twice a day.