I Need A New Poll
SEX. I am hetero.
This is crystal clear to me. But Jackass keeps suggesting that I must be at least curious or I wouldn't have put up the poll. I just thought it was pretty funny. Tee-Hee.
Scooter left tonight, with the kids. Walked out and said "Have fun." to me on the way. Wouldn't it be lovely if I was going to have fun? All I am going to do is take a bath and then go to bed and probably cry.
I am waiting for Jackass to call me. So we can talk about how this is no good for us (read - HIM) and how we've (read - He's) made a huge mistake and how he's sorry. Always sorry.
Me, too.
We were talking last week or the week before and I told him this:
That is really what I want. How can you love someone and not want that? He told me he would never be happy. So caught in this conflict where being with me ruins his entire life and being without me... It means being without me. I honestly thought that what I really wanted was to figure out how to make him happy.
Yet...
Right now I am contemplating the idea that we reached the end of what we are and he is done with me. Ready to be without me. This should please me since it gives me exactly what I thought I wanted - Happy HIM.
This is crystal clear to me. But Jackass keeps suggesting that I must be at least curious or I wouldn't have put up the poll. I just thought it was pretty funny. Tee-Hee.
Scooter left tonight, with the kids. Walked out and said "Have fun." to me on the way. Wouldn't it be lovely if I was going to have fun? All I am going to do is take a bath and then go to bed and probably cry.
I am waiting for Jackass to call me. So we can talk about how this is no good for us (read - HIM) and how we've (read - He's) made a huge mistake and how he's sorry. Always sorry.
Me, too.
We were talking last week or the week before and I told him this:
"I just want you to be happy."
That is really what I want. How can you love someone and not want that? He told me he would never be happy. So caught in this conflict where being with me ruins his entire life and being without me... It means being without me. I honestly thought that what I really wanted was to figure out how to make him happy.
Yet...
Right now I am contemplating the idea that we reached the end of what we are and he is done with me. Ready to be without me. This should please me since it gives me exactly what I thought I wanted - Happy HIM.
posted by Bad Penny at 8:44 PM
2 Comments:
Girl, you need to check your yourself NOW!! Stop worrying about him and start worrying about yourself. You can't make someone happy, and noone can make you happy. I found this out the hard way. Concentrate on you and what you want. No one will ever love you until you love yourself
Thanks Girls. I do need to get a new point of view. I told him today that I am less introspective when I am with him, because with him is wrong and introspection high lights that so I have to see it. So rather than change the with him... I close my eyes. We're on to the next thing now.
Thanks for Reading, but even more thanks for chimeing in ~ I'm Bad Penny
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