Some time this summer I washed my car. This is a feat you would never understand without first having seen my car and the protective layer of dirt I normally keep it wrapped in. I thought my friends would be excited that I ventured into car cleanliness land -- a land that they are usually usually in alone.
Instead the most important question is: Did I wash it in my bikini??
The answer was HELL NO! Are you insane? Stand in the drive for all the world to see in little more than my under things? Hardly.
But, Blog Monkeys (and random visitors that got here by searching "bikini + hell + protective layer of dirt"), you gotta wonder... How is the project coming along if you wont even go out of the house in a bathing suit? Not very well is the answer.
Truth is that I was ignoring it. I quit taking photos. I quit searching out the scary bits and making them my friends. I just let the entire thing slide. Partly because my project manager quit, without even a letter of resignation, and I was left reeling from abandonment. (That is a right good excuse young lady, you outta stick with that one) But also because it was difficult.
Yet I had the "Rather die than go outside in a bathingsuit" reaction to the car wash inquiry. What's that about?
SOOOOOOOO, can you guess where the project has taken me? Into the yard in my bikini. (Number Two child thinks I've been in the yard in my underwear no matter how hot pink and bathing-suit-like it is... makes me wonder what sort of girl she thinks I am!) I've been out there washing the car and watering the jasmine and mowing, etc. in the bikini. People drive by and look at me. I got a nasty sun burn on my fish-belly which has not seen the sun in years I think.
And it's all good. I think I am looking pretty sun kissed now and I no longer feel the need to throw myself behind the hedge every time a car goes by. Its all good. But it does come with its down side, mainly attracting the unwanted attention of passers by.
Today I noticed the red suburban go by for the 4th time and noticed the driver looking at me. I sorta laughed. How good a look can you get at 40 miles an hour? Not so good if you have to keep going by... but then he STOPPED. Holy Cow Blog Monkeys!! Random passing man stopped his car right at my drive and rolled the window down. I was not too worried cause I have a hose. That'll make him think twice! My lethal garden hose. (That's what I told myself anyway)
He asked me if I knew where a non-existent street is. I said nope. He drove off.
All in all it was not so bad. But from now on it's me, the bikini and a hundred and fifty pound dog. And the hose. Don't forget the hose.
