Photos

I have started a kind of photo journal of my body. Started with my feet. Don't question it. Was reassured by J that its not too weird. Whew! Told Jackass, second to last conversation, that I was going to try to photograph the way that tiny bubbles cling to even smaller hairs on my body in the tub... makes me look furry. But if you look closer it looks like kelp or some exotic sea creature or some alien structure or, even better, larvae.

Jackass said "You've crossed a line." I don't know what that really means. I think he was just being funny, not really understanding this photo-body-need thing i am doing right now. Maybe I have really crossed a line.

My self image -- no, scratch that -- my body image is fractured. So fractured that i do not include it in my self image. My self image is all cerebral.

So I am trying to capture these different ways I appear to myself. Heres what happens though. The ones that are attractive, or provocative, or presentable... to those I say HEY SURE. But the ones that aren't? I can them. Can't even stand to look at them. So am I documenting the sexy bits and excising the nasty ones? That is exactly what is wrong with my body in my head. Fractured into bits and pieces.

So I think I am going to have to keep the ones I really dont like, and maybe even show them around. CRAP. I was afraid of that.