Bad Penny ~ Girl of Little Patience

I need a boyfriend.

I can admit it. That's what I need. Not a husband but a boyfriend. Someone to just make out with at the movies.

I am not a big fan of this single-ness. I am even less of a fan of just WANTING to mitigate this singleness through the judicious use of jackass.

We're sitting in his car last night. (The car is funny, it's not a car its a Range Rover. I remember telling my friend last year this time that I spent three nights a week in the parking lot at school not taking my clothes off and climbing in the Rover. From that day on she's called jackass Rover Man) ANYWAY...

We're sitting in Rover Mans sport utility vehicle, listening to Bad Religion (Track 14 reminds me of jackass *temptation, revelation, you decide*) and doing that thing we do where we just hang out in proximity cause neither one of us wants to go home with out the other. It's like spending your days in a donut shop because the diet has made you so damn hungry... I miss him. I wish I could just stuff him in my trunk and then keep him locked in the basement.

Anyway. We are adults and we know we can't just hang out like this forever. We gotta go home. Sometime. So he says "Hey, you gotta get out of the car right now cause if you don't then we'll just have to make out." (Remember, casual voyeuristic friend, Penny just really wants to make out)

So, you can imagine what I did. I took this rather blatant statement as an invitation, jumped on him and kissed his brains out. Shoved our shirts up so we can press our skin together, in the parking lot, like horny teenagers...

No. Not really. What I really did was get out of the car. Huffed with total pissed off resignation. ("IT IS JUST NOT FAIR!!") Slammed the door. Got in my car and drove away. I drove away unkissed and ungroped and unhappy in the truest sense.

Why oh why does Penny do this to herself?

It is a mystery. A rank whodunnit.

He called me. (Status check? pissed at me? you slammed the door... maybe I shouldn't say these things to you but tell me you're not feeling the exact same way... I am oh I am.... so no problem cause we cant help how we feel... blahdy blah blah blah.) I ended that conversation with the unmitigated statement:

"Thanks for nothing."

and that's really how I feel. J says "You're just looking for some companionship, not a man to marry..." His suggestion is well intended, I know. But if I don't want marriage then why not jackass? If not now then when?

There are no conclusions and there is no punch line. I am just frustrated and I want you to suffer, too.