Merry F'in Christmas

I will not try to sugar coat it. This year sucks.

I bought a real tree. Oh god, I am a tree killer. But I was just too damned weary to drag my fake tree in from the garage and put it together. This requires death defying garage skills. (Men! Men are the garage masters and women should never have to go and risk death to get down the f'in Christmas tree...) So I bought a real tree which is placed not-so-conveniently in the kitchen. Near all the appliances that get hot. What can be more cozy than a nice Christmas fire!?!

I have no money and therefore no money to spend on lavish (or even not so lavish for that matter) gifts for my friends. I love to give gifts to my friends. And I have no time to make gifts. And no patience to give something like a back rub or a kitchen floor scrubbing or what not.

WAH!

This year sucks.

(I am secretly hoping to get analyzed by that psycho-analyst blog thing who remembers the name? Sigmund what's his face and company. I am secretly hoping for that cause I know I need therapy but I CAN NOT FREAKING AFFORD THAT EITHER!)

So here's the Penny update for those of you that are missing little old me.

Number One grandbaby is due in about a week and a half... as is Penny's best effort to write 9 passing law school exam essays. Which will be more painful? Exams.

I think I had a date on Weds. I say think cause it didn't start that way but it ended up seeming a lot like a date once it got going. He opened doors for me. Said things like "Get what ever you want." Was wearing a nice, clean and apparently ironed shirt and smelled pretty damn good. Called me first thing on Thursday to say he had fun. So much fun. Lets do it again. oh yeah. He paid.

Does that sound like a date to you?

You are starting to chuckle I bet. Thinking "Oh but this is Penny! There has to be a catch... She can't just go on a date and say THAT WAS FUN!"

Here's the catch. Actually there are two. Why do things simple when you can muck it up with conflicting levels of conflict, right? First is that this guy I had the "date" with is in a very vulnerable place in his life right now. And I get this sneaking feeling that he is much like my sweet buddy J and his "I am so interested in this girl does she like me?????"-ness right now. Too much pressure.

Then there is this insanity... OMGosh! Can I even admit it? I feel like I am totally doing something wrong because of my thing with My Boy (formerly known as Jackass for all you old friends). This is the level of my monogamy. I feel like I am cheating on the married man that cannot be my boy friend...

So Merry F'in Christmas to you! Hope yours does not suck.