FIREFOX Users! I have no idea why the colors get weird and I am saddly too stupid to change it. Don't strain yourself... Just ask someone who CAN read it to translate it for you!

Sunday, December 26, 2004

The Microcosm of Online Dating

My great pal, cyber-boy friend, and project manager (J!) recently got me to join an online dating thingamajigger.

"You're not looking for some guy to marry!' He says. "Meet some people! Get a BOY TOY!!"

I reluctantly agreed. What good is a project manager if you refuse to take their advice? But Oh My GOODNESSSAKESALIVE! This is nutty stuff. First off... Who the hell is on these things anyway? Second off, is it fair for me to think that I am the only sane one? No. There have to be guys that are just like me. Sincere and just not into that bar-club-brothel thing. There have to be right? Statistically? At least one??? That doesn't want me to give them IM sex cause they said I was a "Fine piece of ass."

Travel back in Penny Blog time to the day I told you about Line-backer man. These guys make Line-backer man look like some kind of sexless monk. If I had to struggle with patience for that guy you can imagine my patience with these guys. And what the hell should I be patient for? Do I run the risk of insulting the PERFECT MAN when I insist that we discuss something besides the size of his dick on the first chat?

Does this represent the real world or is the online dating scene reserved for freaks and jerks and hormone marinated boys revved up with anonymous courage? It is all those guys that will not hesitate to grab your ass with both hands cause "You know you like it, baby." Maybe I need that wall of bitchyness. NEED IT. To protect me from the hoard...

Ours is not to question why, though, it is just to do or die. When the project manager says jump I've tried to say "How HIGH!?!" And sometimes I just say "Yes, sir." cause its pretty hot. But really, how much of this should I tolerate before I tell J that his plan sucks and give up? A GOOD project manager would just date me. He could dress up like different guys so I'd feel popular. Wear several hats and talk in various accents. One J-Date could be really forward and get slapped so I can practice that. And another, in a different hat of course, could be sweet and shy. Giving me the opportunity to practice my own forwardness.

There would be the J-Date with money ("Whatever you want Baby, money is no object!") and the J-Date with extra wittiness ("Oh my, Penny, I've never laughed so hard before in my entire life!"). And the J-Date with extra mojo ("Penny, Baby, you are the hottest thing I've ever been within an 18 inch radius of before. Baby.") And the J-Date who is jealous of all the other J-Dates ("You were out with J!?! You're f**king him, aren't you, you evil b*tch!?!")

My point is that I do not really need to meet new people. All I need is for the people I already know to just step it up a notch. How freaking hard is that? If you really loved me you would placate me in my time of need.

This has made perfect sense, trust me I'm a professional ~ I'm Bad Penny


Blogger CrackerSnacker said...

My own personal prefernce....I would never online date, so many goons and wackos and so much easier to lie when using a keyboard and mouse, all they need to do is get some picture of a friend or roomate or something, or link you to someones MSN video feed saying its their own web camera. Maybe its because Im young and active but I would never use the web as a tool to find someone to date for so many reasons, some people find their love of their life through the web but I must say....thats probably 10x harder than finding that person in person on a date.

3:48 PM  
Blogger Disorderly said...

Is online chat representative of the real world? I think the problem is similar to the way flame wars happen on newsgroups. People's behavior becomes dramatically different when they can't see or hear a response. The person at the other end doesn't seem nearly as real, which makes a lot of the controls on our actions seem less necessary. And of course it *is* a lot easier to exaggerate. Or just plain lie.

I've had some very nice connections online, both through email and IM. Yeah, they're outnumbered by the ones that went nowhere, or at least nowhere good. And I'm a guy; it has to be ten times worse for women. Because every man who would have trouble asking a woman out somehow thinks acting like a caveman is acceptable online.

So don't give up. Just shut down the losers really quickly.

5:05 PM  
Blogger quaisi said...

change your colours it`s unreadable

5:54 PM  
Blogger Michael_the_Archangel said...

I agree, you need to change the background color. Black print on a dark blue background makes your blog almost impossible to read. For the record, I'm using Foxfire as are about half the folks who log on.

6:30 PM  
Blogger Brad said...

I met my wife on an online dating service.

Have patience.

What you seek is there.

8:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Been doing the online dating thing for the past year. Only met one guy that I actually met and had a short relationship with. He was an asshole...

Am still looking...

9:09 PM  

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