The Microcosm of Online Dating
My great pal, cyber-boy friend, and project manager (J!) recently got me to join an online dating thingamajigger.
"You're not looking for some guy to marry!' He says. "Meet some people! Get a BOY TOY!!"
I reluctantly agreed. What good is a project manager if you refuse to take their advice? But Oh My GOODNESSSAKESALIVE! This is nutty stuff. First off... Who the hell is on these things anyway? Second off, is it fair for me to think that I am the only sane one? No. There have to be guys that are just like me. Sincere and just not into that bar-club-brothel thing. There have to be right? Statistically? At least one??? That doesn't want me to give them IM sex cause they said I was a "Fine piece of ass."
Travel back in Penny Blog time to the day I told you about Line-backer man. These guys make Line-backer man look like some kind of sexless monk. If I had to struggle with patience for that guy you can imagine my patience with these guys. And what the hell should I be patient for? Do I run the risk of insulting the PERFECT MAN when I insist that we discuss something besides the size of his dick on the first chat?
Does this represent the real world or is the online dating scene reserved for freaks and jerks and hormone marinated boys revved up with anonymous courage? It is all those guys that will not hesitate to grab your ass with both hands cause "You know you like it, baby." Maybe I need that wall of bitchyness. NEED IT. To protect me from the hoard...
Ours is not to question why, though, it is just to do or die. When the project manager says jump I've tried to say "How HIGH!?!" And sometimes I just say "Yes, sir." cause its pretty hot. But really, how much of this should I tolerate before I tell J that his plan sucks and give up? A GOOD project manager would just date me. He could dress up like different guys so I'd feel popular. Wear several hats and talk in various accents. One J-Date could be really forward and get slapped so I can practice that. And another, in a different hat of course, could be sweet and shy. Giving me the opportunity to practice my own forwardness.
There would be the J-Date with money ("Whatever you want Baby, money is no object!") and the J-Date with extra wittiness ("Oh my, Penny, I've never laughed so hard before in my entire life!"). And the J-Date with extra mojo ("Penny, Baby, you are the hottest thing I've ever been within an 18 inch radius of before. Baby.") And the J-Date who is jealous of all the other J-Dates ("You were out with J!?! You're f**king him, aren't you, you evil b*tch!?!")
My point is that I do not really need to meet new people. All I need is for the people I already know to just step it up a notch. How freaking hard is that? If you really loved me you would placate me in my time of need.
This has made perfect sense, trust me I'm a professional ~ I'm Bad Penny
"You're not looking for some guy to marry!' He says. "Meet some people! Get a BOY TOY!!"
I reluctantly agreed. What good is a project manager if you refuse to take their advice? But Oh My GOODNESSSAKESALIVE! This is nutty stuff. First off... Who the hell is on these things anyway? Second off, is it fair for me to think that I am the only sane one? No. There have to be guys that are just like me. Sincere and just not into that bar-club-brothel thing. There have to be right? Statistically? At least one??? That doesn't want me to give them IM sex cause they said I was a "Fine piece of ass."
Travel back in Penny Blog time to the day I told you about Line-backer man. These guys make Line-backer man look like some kind of sexless monk. If I had to struggle with patience for that guy you can imagine my patience with these guys. And what the hell should I be patient for? Do I run the risk of insulting the PERFECT MAN when I insist that we discuss something besides the size of his dick on the first chat?
Does this represent the real world or is the online dating scene reserved for freaks and jerks and hormone marinated boys revved up with anonymous courage? It is all those guys that will not hesitate to grab your ass with both hands cause "You know you like it, baby." Maybe I need that wall of bitchyness. NEED IT. To protect me from the hoard...
Ours is not to question why, though, it is just to do or die. When the project manager says jump I've tried to say "How HIGH!?!" And sometimes I just say "Yes, sir." cause its pretty hot. But really, how much of this should I tolerate before I tell J that his plan sucks and give up? A GOOD project manager would just date me. He could dress up like different guys so I'd feel popular. Wear several hats and talk in various accents. One J-Date could be really forward and get slapped so I can practice that. And another, in a different hat of course, could be sweet and shy. Giving me the opportunity to practice my own forwardness.
There would be the J-Date with money ("Whatever you want Baby, money is no object!") and the J-Date with extra wittiness ("Oh my, Penny, I've never laughed so hard before in my entire life!"). And the J-Date with extra mojo ("Penny, Baby, you are the hottest thing I've ever been within an 18 inch radius of before. Baby.") And the J-Date who is jealous of all the other J-Dates ("You were out with J!?! You're f**king him, aren't you, you evil b*tch!?!")
My point is that I do not really need to meet new people. All I need is for the people I already know to just step it up a notch. How freaking hard is that? If you really loved me you would placate me in my time of need.
This has made perfect sense, trust me I'm a professional ~ I'm Bad Penny
posted by Bad Penny at 9:46 AM
3 Comments:
I agree, you need to change the background color. Black print on a dark blue background makes your blog almost impossible to read. For the record, I'm using Foxfire as are about half the folks who log on.
I met my wife on an online dating service.
Have patience.
What you seek is there.
Been doing the online dating thing for the past year. Only met one guy that I actually met and had a short relationship with. He was an asshole...
Am still looking...
http://heavenlyankh.com
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