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Tuesday, December 28, 2004

This Was a DATE

This time I'm sure it was a date. I got a movie, and dinner (Anything you want) and a birthday present. An actual present in a bag with paper and stuff. An obscenely priced coke from the concession stand. 2 hours of dark movie proximity and laughter. It was really very nice. Only problem is it was not My Boy. (Need a nic-name from this new guy so I'll call him The Bartender)

This is the sorta girl I am. I feel like I'm cheating. How can you cheat on a guy that's married to another girl? How can you cheat on a guy that doesn't even ever take you out anyway? How can you cheat on a guy that isn't even sure from day to day whether or not he'll keep talking to you? But that's how I feel. Like I am two-timing My Boy. And it freaking sucks.

So here's what I got for my birthday from The Bartender. He doesn't know me so well. But he gave me a book. The third collection of Darwin Awards. How well do you need to know Penny to understand that this is good stuff? I LOVE this stuff. Funny and tragic and OMGosh. DING DING. He picked a good book.

There was something else in the bag. It had a chocolate sticker on it, one of those mall shops.

He says "Did you see what else is in the bag?" and I said "Yeah."

And he says "Well, what is it?"


"Dude, look in the bag."

I say "Why? It's chocolate. Thank you."

"Just look."

So I look. and its a caramel apple.

Flash back to a conversation between Penny and The Bartender ~~~~~~~~(these are wavy flashback lines) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We're talking on the phone, just shooting the breeze. Random stuff. Jokes. Crap. Laughing. and he says "Do you know what that the greatest edible panty flavor would be?" and I say "ummmm? Cherry?" "Nope. Caramel apple. Someone should invent that sh*t." so I go into detail about how I could construct this panty out of those Wrapples things from the super market and crushed up Jolly Ranchers. "But that'd be crunchy... that's just wrong." We laughed like mad over this. MAD. (Flashing forward) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Recall that I say "Why? It's chocolate. Thank you."

"Just look."

So I look. and its a caramel apple. OMGosh. You guys. He gave me a caramel apple.

He says that I intimidate him. Trip him out. Finally I say "Listen, if you are trying to tell me something then you need to just say it." He reminds me so much of my sweet J that I can hardly stand it. He wants to know where he stands, which is weird cause we hardly know each other but he is getting a yellow light which is not red and is not green and maybe I just wanna hang out which is cool cause he really likes to hang out and that's cool but maybe there's the yellow light it could be more than just hanging out and he'd just really like to know cause I intimidate him and he... can not believe he's even said any of this to me.

All of this means "I'd like to kiss you with out getting punched in the nose."

But I can not kiss The Bartender. Cause I am married in my heart to The Boy.


Blogger Jess said...

Penny my dear,
It is time for your cyber son to give you some advice. Go with the bar tender, go now married men never do you write. I need a little advice too. Read and figure it out.

9:54 AM  

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