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Sunday, January 23, 2005

How I Ended Up Sleeping With TWO Guys Last Night

Photographic Proof!!

Today J asked me if I've told The Bartender that I am not interested in a serious relationship.


I've told The Bartender that I am probably very, very bad for him.

"Maybe you didn't have to say quite so much." ventures J.


I guess. But I felt like I had to say something. I like The Bartender. I really like his son, Little Bartender. Oh my gosh, you guys. This kid is funny. He bites his lip and dances just like daddy... So, I had to say something.

Anyway. The Bartender keeps asking me about Scooter like somehow Scooter is the one he needs to worry about. As though one day I would wake and decide that I want to put it all back together with paranoid, infantile, pain in my ass Scooter.

So, here's what the title up there is all about. The Bartender and Little B came over last night to hang out. We were gonna watch a movie, eat ice cream, try not to laugh too loud and wake the baby (1(a)). But, there's a catch. The Bartender is deathly allergic to cats.

I have a cat.

Not just a regular cat either, but a FLUFFY cat. A friendly FLUFFY cat . She sashays around flinging certain death in the form of dander. So, The Bartender decides to prepare himself for this evening by taking benedryl. A lot of benedryl.

Here's a tip for you cost conscious kids out there. If you are ever a little low on cash and you need some benedryl but the name brand stuff is too pricy you can just pick up some generic sleep aid cause its all the same. Do you see where this goes?

The Bartender got so totally stoned on benedryl that I could not possibly let him drive. He looked at me and said "So what was that thing you said where the worst thing you could ever do was put a baby in the river?" and I knew it was all over.

And that's how I ended up sleeping with two guys. One who snored and was too zonked on antihistamine to even try to put a hand up my shirt and the other who kicked me, quite a bit, but has very small sweet feet so it's ok.


Blogger Garrison Steelle said...

Well, at least no one died. :)


10:49 AM  

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