FIREFOX Users! I have no idea why the colors get weird and I am saddly too stupid to change it. Don't strain yourself... Just ask someone who CAN read it to translate it for you!

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Life is Funny Sometimes...

Summer is quickly approaching. Careening right at me like a run away train, throttling head long through the night gaining speed and inertia and... Unstoppable.

So I've been thinking about J. We met in a fairly unusual way and perhaps "met" is not the right word to use. I was surfing blogs and came across a bit of writing that just spoke to me... Here is this guy (pretty cute!) who seemed to know exactly what I was experiencing. I even remember the name of this post "Reel Me Back In".

J was struggling with his S***n troubles and I was struggling with my Jackass troubles... So I left him a comment. It was not the first comment I had ever left. I did not expect too much. Just thought "It's nice when another human being acknowleges you. Recognizes your basic sameness." I expected nothing.

But I ended up with one of the best friends I've ever had.

Life is funny I guess. I count J among my top seven best friends**. J rates with me. He is my project manager and has had such a positive impact on me during a very difficult time that I don't know if I could ever thank him properly. He is kindred, so dear to me that I would gladly do just about anything he asked. (This is a safe enough bet when you know some one well enough to know they'd never ask for something it would hurt you to give) But lately I've been thinking about it quite a bit because it really begs this question:

How the HELL did this happen?

J and I have never spoken to each other. Our relationship exists entirely in pixels and binary code, in the cyber world (There are a few small exceptions which reside in snail mail so I know that J's handwriting is just like my first boy friends and he knows what I smell like cause I spritzed his birthday card). Yet I have told him that I love him and I mean it. How do you come to love someone to whom you've never spoken? There is a certain purity of thought and expression here on the web. Ease of filtering. You can be what you wanna be, say what you wanna say... but if that were all then I would have a relationship with a heck of a lot more people than I do, here. I've emailed and communicated with lots of people on the net. But none of them are like J. And I'd bet, if you ask him, J will say there's something special about me too.

Summer is coming. And it will mark a few milestones for me. I've had huge changes in the last year. But mainly last summer was when I met one of my very best friends. Maybe this summer I will actually meet him again.

** Do not think for one second that I ever take for granted the fact the I can number my best friends and count them. I am blessed with great love. I honor it by counting everyday and never taking a moment of it for granted.


Blogger Rue said...

Odd. One of my best friends is a J and I met him online. My J is married and at one point I fancied him in a very non-platonic way. Over the last 3 years we’ve come to a comfortable point where he’s my best friend and I love him but I also respect his life. I find it amazing that this man that I’ve never met is very much a part of my every day life and I find myself saying, “I can’t wait to tell J about that”. I’d be terribly hurt if he ever went away. Good luck with your friendship going forward!

10:04 AM  

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